Soul Ties Pt. 1

Have you ever wondered why you respond to certain situations in ways you can't quite explain? Why some relationships drain you while others energize you? Why you feel stuck in patterns from your past, unable to move forward despite your best efforts?  The answer might lie in something profoundly spiritual yet deeply practical: the connections your soul has formed with other people, habits, and influences throughout your life.

What Is a Soul Tie?
At its core, a soul tie is a deep emotional, spiritual, or relational bond between two people—or between you and something that has captured your attention, affection, and allegiance. The scripture reminds us in 3 John 1:2 that our prosperity and health are directly connected to the condition of our soul. Your soul—comprised of your mind, will, and emotions—is the control center that influences how you think, the choices you make, and the actions you take.  When two souls connect, they become intertwined. These connections go far deeper than surface-level friendships or casual acquaintances. They shape how you feel, what you believe, and why you act the way you do. Sometimes you're responding to life not from your own authentic self, but from the influence of a soul tie you don't even realize exists.

Here's the sobering truth: soul ties can be either divine or demonic. There's no middle ground. They're either healthy connections ordained by God that propel you forward, or they're unhealthy attachments that keep you bound to your past.

The Divine Design: Healthy Soul Ties
God created certain relationships to produce powerful, life-giving soul ties. These connections are rooted in love and designed to help you flourish.

• Marriage: The Ultimate Soul Connection

Genesis 2:24 establishes the foundational soul tie: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Notice the progression—leave, cleave, and become one. This isn't just poetic language; it's describing a spiritual reality.  In marriage, two separate souls are meant to intertwine completely, creating something new and unified. This divine soul tie should produce trust, teamwork, emotional support, and strong communication. When a marriage is functioning as God designed, it becomes a source of strength, encouragement, and mutual growth.  But here's where it gets challenging: when either spouse maintains unhealthy connections outside the marriage—whether through emotional affairs, pornography, or even excessive dependence on parents—the marital soul tie becomes compromised. You can't properly minister to your spouse when your soul is tied somewhere else.

• Friendship: The Power of Godly Connection

The friendship between David and Jonathan illustrates a beautiful, healthy soul tie. First Samuel 18:1 tells us "the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." They made a covenant with each other, looked out for one another, and were willing to sacrifice for each other's benefit. True friendship creates a bond where you can be vulnerable, honest, and authentic. These relationships should be rooted in shared spiritual values and mutual encouragement. Proverbs 27:6 reminds us that "faithful are the wounds of a friend"—meaning genuine friends correct us out of love, not control.

• Parent-Child: The Foundation of Identity

The relationship between parent and child is another God-ordained soul tie. When the love of God is properly demonstrated to a child, they grow up secure, confident, and free from the spirit of rejection. However, when this connection is broken or twisted—when parents are emotionally absent or when love becomes controlling—children develop wounds that follow them into adulthood.  Genesis 44 shows us the healthy attachment between Jacob and his son. His life was "bound up in the boy's life." While this demonstrates deep parental love, it also hints at the danger: when parents live through their children or refuse to let them grow, even a good thing becomes unhealthy.

• The Church: Designed for Connection

Perhaps one of the most overlooked divine soul ties is the connection between believers in the body of Christ. Ephesians 4:16 describes how the whole body is "closely joined and firmly knit together" with each part working properly to build itself up in love.  The church wasn't meant to be a Sunday-only experience. Hebrews 10:24-25 calls us to "consider and give attention, continuously care to watching over one another," not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together. We're meant to be studying how to stimulate and excite one another to love and good works.  When you're more connected to unbelieving family members than to your spiritual family, something is out of alignment. Jesus himself asked, "Who is my mother? Who is my father? Those who are doing the will of God."

Building Healthy Soul Ties
How do we cultivate the kind of connections that bring life rather than bondage?

1. Root relationships in purpose, not convenience. Don't build your life around what's easy or feels good in the moment. Your relationships should be grounded in shared spiritual values and goals. Amos 3:3 asks, "Can two walk together except they be agreed?"
2. Cultivate trust, vulnerability, and honesty. Proverbs 11:13 distinguishes between gossips who tell secrets and those who are trustworthy and can keep a confidence. Healthy relationships create space for emotional closeness where you can share your struggles without condemnation.
3. Choose freedom over control. Manipulation is a form of witchcraft—it's attempting to control others through emotional or spiritual means. Healthy soul ties encourage growth and freedom, not dependence and control.
4. Practice encouragement and accountability. First Thessalonians 5:11 instructs us to "encourage and comfort one another and build up one another." We should pour into people with the intent of speaking life and helping them grow, offering accountability without condemnation.

The Ultimate Purpose
Here's the profound truth that ties everything together: we're supposed to worship God with our souls. Our mind, will, and emotions should be fully devoted to Him.  If you can't worship God freely—if your emotions are tied to past relationships, if your body is submitted to addictions, if your finances are controlled by the spirit of mammon—then your soul is tied to something other than God. Whatever controls your thoughts, choices, and emotions is what you're truly worshiping.

The good news is this: God's will is that you are free in every area of your life, especially your soul. Freedom is possible. Healing is available. The unhealthy ties that have bound you can be broken, and the healthy connections God designed for you can be restored.

The question isn't whether soul ties exist in your life—they do. The question is: what are you tied to, and is it bringing you closer to God's purpose or pulling you away from it?